Feeling a little Feisty

Previously published in the Summer 2014 but relevant for today just as much. 

[WARNING: I AM NOT YOUR AVERAGE CHRISTIAN. I DO NOT FIT INTO SOME MOLD OF EXPECTATIONS HELD BY MOST CHRISTIAN RELIGIONS. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN RELIGION IN AND OF ITSELF. I BELIEVE SOLELY IN THE BIBLE AND TRUST WHAT IT HAS TO SAY TO ME. I CHOSE TO FELLOWSHIP IN A SANCTUARY OF BELIEVERS, BUT THAT IS NOT WHO I AM. I AM SIMPLY A CHRISTIAN DEFINED BY THE BIBLE, NOT DOCTRINES. YOU ARE WARNED BECAUSE I AM LIKELY TO OFFEND SOME WITH THIS POST. THAT IS NOT MY INTENT. MY DECLARATION IS MADE PUBLIC AS A WARNING TO SATAN.]

Today my worst nightmare has been confirmed…. (this song popped into my head) “my past keeps playing with my head, failure strikes me down again, I’m reminded of the wrong, that I have said and done, and that the devil just won’t let me forget”… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZVjKrmvYYQ The insanity set forth to destroy my life has shown me the grip it has on someone dear to me and my inability to undo it, proving once again I have failed…

My emotions are mixed. I’m mad at myself for letting my guard down when I knew better. I’m angry at God because I trusted Him to do what I couldn’t. I am beyond pissed at Satan…I can hear his snarly-ass snickering with an evil grin smeared across his face that I would love to slap off. Unfortunately, it is not “flesh and blood I wrestle against, but principalities, against powers, rulers of darkness and spiritual host of wickedness “(Eph 6:12). He is just hoping this is one more setback in my life that will finally make me cave and stop trusting God to see me through. The saying, “I’m going to beat the hell out of you” has never been truer than now and if only God would give me the opportunity and power to do it.  I would take Satan on single-handedly if I knew Jesus didn’t already have it covered. (Satan doesn’t want me to pull out all my UFC moves- I keep them hidden for a reason).  So many more emotions tied up within my stomach…. I’m not even going to describe or discuss. Doing so simply elevates Satan instead of Christ, the one I want elevated

So, Satan, I declare WAR  on you this day, it is time for you and all your cronies to be on guard. I have a sword you WILL NEVER defeat.  It was given to me to “whoop data” [watch Meet the Browns you will know what I’m saying]….and “whoop” is being nice… You’ve chosen this battle but I am not sure you remember who you are coming against. It is not I that has and will continue to defeat you but Jesus (1John 4:4) However, the leader of this army has CHOSEN ME (Eph 1:4-5).  So guess whose side I’m on??? - THE WINNING SIDE- and guess what that makes me… a winner too.  BOOYA!!!!  

I AM a child of THE KING (Gal.4:4-7) sealed with more promise than I have even yet to learn (Eph. 1:13). I am the head and not the tail (Deut. 28.13). You, Satan, are the tail, (Isa. 9:15) the one who teaches lies and is the father of ALL lies. (John 8:44) Maybe you have forgotten Jesus has destroyed your power against me since I am one filled with the Holy Spirit (Col. 2:15), an overcomer (1 John 4:4), a believer equipped to perform great works that will glorify MY HEAVENLY FATHER (John 14: 12-14)

I will not be defeated. The Commander and Chief of the army I serve will never let me down, always stick by me and PROTECT me from evil. (2 Thes. 3:3). I live and move in him; I can’t get away from him (Acts 17:26). Through Jesus, I have already been given the victory (1 Cor 15:57).

You … demand proof that Christ speaks through me, believe me, you will get more than you bargained for. You’ll get the full force of Christ, don’t think you won’t. He was sheer weakness and humiliation when he was killed on the cross, but oh, he’s alive now—in the mighty power of God! I wasn’t much to look at, either, when I was humiliated by you, but when I deal with you this next time; I’ll be alive in Christ, AND strengthened by God.  You have been warned. I am not lying down and I am no easy target.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20cor%2013%3A1-4&version=NLV;CEB;MSG;EXB

THE BIBLE WAS GIVEN TO ME BY A MIGHTY GOD AS A SWORD THAT I HAVE PICKED UP AND PLAN TO SWING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON UNTIL I FEEL THE NEED TO REGAIN MY SANITY…UNTIL THEN MARK MY WORDS:

This is my bible: I have what it says I have. I am what it says I am. I am CONFIDENT not intimidated, meek or insecure, STRONG  and not weak, FOCUSED and not scattered, ABOVE and not below, THE HEAD and not the tail, A LEADER not a follower, SUCCESSFUL not a failure, more than a CONQUEROR; EQUIPPED, EMPOWERED, WELL-ABLED to ACCOMPLISH my dreams and GOD’S PLANS FOR ME. GOD STANDS BESIDE ME, GOES BEFORE ME AND PREPARES MY WAY

The urge to quit when the journey before us is not what we had planned for our lives.

As I sat listening to T.D. Jakes this morning, his words brought to mind my sister-in-law and her battle with breast cancer. Here are his words.

' Even Jesus struggled with giving up. In the garden of Gethsemane He labored in prayer asking
God three times if He could get out of what lied before him; could He quit the plan assigned to him’ Lord is there a way I can get out of being me. Being me is not going so good. Being me is not what it’s cracked up to be. Daddy can I quit. [There is an urge in all of us to quit when the journey before us is not what we had planned for our lives. He knew that without God’s help He would not be able to finish His assignment]. Three times He prayed, “Not my will but yours”. '

Let's look at this scripture a little closer. Jesus Prays Matthew 26: 36-46

Jesus and His friends went to the garden of Gethsemane. Once there He told them to stay back while He went to another area to pray and be alone with God. He asked His friends to stay awake and keep watch with Him.  He had deep anguish; the sorrow of what was to come was crushing the life out of him. He asked God if there was any way possible for Him to avoid the suffering He was about to face, could He please get out of this plan set to take place, for this plan to be changed, removed, erased? But He knew the plan for Him to suffer had a much bigger purpose than His plan to quit, or give up could ever do, so He added to His prayer, ‘don’t do this for my sake, keep me in line with your plan’. He wanted to make sure He fulfilled His purpose for coming to earth.

After an hour or so, He took a break from praying to go check on His friends, who had fallen asleep. He woke them and said, ‘ You need to wake up and pray so that you are not tested. I know you want to do what is right, but you are letting your flesh overcome you. Pray for strength against temptation.’  

Then He left them to go pray some more. “My Father, if I must do this and it is not possible for me to escape it, then I pray that what you want will be done.” When he came back from praying to check on His friends, he again found them sound asleep. They simply couldn’t keep their eyes open.

This time he let them sleep on, and went back a third time to pray, going over the same ground one last time. When he came back the next time, he said, “Are you going to sleep on and make a night of it? My time is up, the Son of Man is about to be handed over to the hands of sinners. Get up! Let’s get going! My betrayer is here.” In other words, He accepted His fate. He didn’t look forward to it; however, He knew it had a bigger purpose. He was only able to face it head on because He had given it much prayer.

He could not even count on those He trusted and loved to stand beside Him. He had to go it alone. Not only was He feeling hurt and anguished but also abandoned as if no one cared what He was going through. I say to my dear Cindy, Jesus went through trials and suffering so He could relate to your feelings. He knows that you are scared and feel alone. That you are tired and hurting. He’s been there. If you can get to the point to where you can say, “Not my will but yours be done”, God will see you through just as He did his son.

Only Deployed...Not Abandoned or Forgotten

I would love to hear your feedback. Please leave a comment.

*THE SCRIPTURE USED TODAY Isaiah 49: 13 Shout for joy, you heavens;    rejoice, you earth;    burst into song, you mountains!For the Lord comforts his people    and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.14 But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me,    the Lord has forgotten me.”15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast    and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget,    I will not forget you! forgotten. 16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;    your walls are ever before me. 17 Your children hasten back,    and those who laid you waste depart from you. 18 Lift up your eyes and look around;    all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live,” declares the Lord,    “you will wear them all as ornaments;    you will put them on, like a bride.

*MY INTERPRETATION: May excitement be evident all around, in the heavens, on the earth, up to the mountain top. Those who belong to the Lord, will be comforted because He is concerned about your pain and sufferings. The Place in Jerusalem where the city of David was built stated God had abandoned and forgotten them, comparing their relationship with God to that of a mother and a newborn. Stating although they felt forgotten, they would never forget about Him. To prove He has not forgotten them, He shows them His hands where He has engraved them. He reminds them that He is continuously focused on them. He reminds them of how their children returned home and their enemies left them. He instructs them to look around and see how their family is all together and that their children would make them proud.

*MY RESEARCH & REFLECTIONS OF THE PASSAGE APPLIED TO MY LIFE

Abandoned and forgotten. Sometimes when God doesn't answer my cry when I think He should, that is exactly how I feel. Have you ever been there? Despite the fact, I have many reasons to be proud of and to know He hasn't forgotten me, it is during those times when that the pain or trouble I’m experiencing has greater power over me than His love for me.

And that is exactly what the enemy would have me to think. He has intentions for my life just as God has plans for my life. If he can keep my focus off what I know is true- that God is for me, that He is always thinking about me, that He protects me and that He has given me many things to be proud of-then he has had a successful day. Our spiritual warfare occurs as a result of an intentional arrangement by an enemy of God and His children. We must be intentional in engaging in that warfare and get ready to face enemy resistance daily. I love what Stormie Omartian says in her book Prayer Warrior

“This is a spiritual battle. It is every bit as real as the fleshly battles waged on earth today, but in a spiritual war the way you do battle is to pray...God’s army is the only one where you can be deployed but you don't actually have to go anywhere. Your heart will be deployed to wherever God sends you in prayer.”

Are you ready to accept your deployment papers today?

*DEFINITIONS REVIEWED:

afflicted (of a problem or illness) cause pain or suffering to; affect or trouble.

compassion concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

forsaken abandoned or deserted.:

ornaments make (something) look more attractive