Feeling a little Feisty

Previously published in the Summer 2014 but relevant for today just as much. 

[WARNING: I AM NOT YOUR AVERAGE CHRISTIAN. I DO NOT FIT INTO SOME MOLD OF EXPECTATIONS HELD BY MOST CHRISTIAN RELIGIONS. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN RELIGION IN AND OF ITSELF. I BELIEVE SOLELY IN THE BIBLE AND TRUST WHAT IT HAS TO SAY TO ME. I CHOSE TO FELLOWSHIP IN A SANCTUARY OF BELIEVERS, BUT THAT IS NOT WHO I AM. I AM SIMPLY A CHRISTIAN DEFINED BY THE BIBLE, NOT DOCTRINES. YOU ARE WARNED BECAUSE I AM LIKELY TO OFFEND SOME WITH THIS POST. THAT IS NOT MY INTENT. MY DECLARATION IS MADE PUBLIC AS A WARNING TO SATAN.]

Today my worst nightmare has been confirmed…. (this song popped into my head) “my past keeps playing with my head, failure strikes me down again, I’m reminded of the wrong, that I have said and done, and that the devil just won’t let me forget”… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZVjKrmvYYQ The insanity set forth to destroy my life has shown me the grip it has on someone dear to me and my inability to undo it, proving once again I have failed…

My emotions are mixed. I’m mad at myself for letting my guard down when I knew better. I’m angry at God because I trusted Him to do what I couldn’t. I am beyond pissed at Satan…I can hear his snarly-ass snickering with an evil grin smeared across his face that I would love to slap off. Unfortunately, it is not “flesh and blood I wrestle against, but principalities, against powers, rulers of darkness and spiritual host of wickedness “(Eph 6:12). He is just hoping this is one more setback in my life that will finally make me cave and stop trusting God to see me through. The saying, “I’m going to beat the hell out of you” has never been truer than now and if only God would give me the opportunity and power to do it.  I would take Satan on single-handedly if I knew Jesus didn’t already have it covered. (Satan doesn’t want me to pull out all my UFC moves- I keep them hidden for a reason).  So many more emotions tied up within my stomach…. I’m not even going to describe or discuss. Doing so simply elevates Satan instead of Christ, the one I want elevated

So, Satan, I declare WAR  on you this day, it is time for you and all your cronies to be on guard. I have a sword you WILL NEVER defeat.  It was given to me to “whoop data” [watch Meet the Browns you will know what I’m saying]….and “whoop” is being nice… You’ve chosen this battle but I am not sure you remember who you are coming against. It is not I that has and will continue to defeat you but Jesus (1John 4:4) However, the leader of this army has CHOSEN ME (Eph 1:4-5).  So guess whose side I’m on??? - THE WINNING SIDE- and guess what that makes me… a winner too.  BOOYA!!!!  

I AM a child of THE KING (Gal.4:4-7) sealed with more promise than I have even yet to learn (Eph. 1:13). I am the head and not the tail (Deut. 28.13). You, Satan, are the tail, (Isa. 9:15) the one who teaches lies and is the father of ALL lies. (John 8:44) Maybe you have forgotten Jesus has destroyed your power against me since I am one filled with the Holy Spirit (Col. 2:15), an overcomer (1 John 4:4), a believer equipped to perform great works that will glorify MY HEAVENLY FATHER (John 14: 12-14)

I will not be defeated. The Commander and Chief of the army I serve will never let me down, always stick by me and PROTECT me from evil. (2 Thes. 3:3). I live and move in him; I can’t get away from him (Acts 17:26). Through Jesus, I have already been given the victory (1 Cor 15:57).

You … demand proof that Christ speaks through me, believe me, you will get more than you bargained for. You’ll get the full force of Christ, don’t think you won’t. He was sheer weakness and humiliation when he was killed on the cross, but oh, he’s alive now—in the mighty power of God! I wasn’t much to look at, either, when I was humiliated by you, but when I deal with you this next time; I’ll be alive in Christ, AND strengthened by God.  You have been warned. I am not lying down and I am no easy target.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20cor%2013%3A1-4&version=NLV;CEB;MSG;EXB

THE BIBLE WAS GIVEN TO ME BY A MIGHTY GOD AS A SWORD THAT I HAVE PICKED UP AND PLAN TO SWING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON UNTIL I FEEL THE NEED TO REGAIN MY SANITY…UNTIL THEN MARK MY WORDS:

This is my bible: I have what it says I have. I am what it says I am. I am CONFIDENT not intimidated, meek or insecure, STRONG  and not weak, FOCUSED and not scattered, ABOVE and not below, THE HEAD and not the tail, A LEADER not a follower, SUCCESSFUL not a failure, more than a CONQUEROR; EQUIPPED, EMPOWERED, WELL-ABLED to ACCOMPLISH my dreams and GOD’S PLANS FOR ME. GOD STANDS BESIDE ME, GOES BEFORE ME AND PREPARES MY WAY

Study Tools

Here you will find links to many different sites that will assist you in beginning your journey to recovery after an abortion. There is a link for men as well. Study Tools

The urge to quit when the journey before us is not what we had planned for our lives.

As I sat listening to T.D. Jakes this morning, his words brought to mind my sister-in-law and her battle with breast cancer. Here are his words.

' Even Jesus struggled with giving up. In the garden of Gethsemane He labored in prayer asking
God three times if He could get out of what lied before him; could He quit the plan assigned to him’ Lord is there a way I can get out of being me. Being me is not going so good. Being me is not what it’s cracked up to be. Daddy can I quit. [There is an urge in all of us to quit when the journey before us is not what we had planned for our lives. He knew that without God’s help He would not be able to finish His assignment]. Three times He prayed, “Not my will but yours”. '

Let's look at this scripture a little closer. Jesus Prays Matthew 26: 36-46

Jesus and His friends went to the garden of Gethsemane. Once there He told them to stay back while He went to another area to pray and be alone with God. He asked His friends to stay awake and keep watch with Him.  He had deep anguish; the sorrow of what was to come was crushing the life out of him. He asked God if there was any way possible for Him to avoid the suffering He was about to face, could He please get out of this plan set to take place, for this plan to be changed, removed, erased? But He knew the plan for Him to suffer had a much bigger purpose than His plan to quit, or give up could ever do, so He added to His prayer, ‘don’t do this for my sake, keep me in line with your plan’. He wanted to make sure He fulfilled His purpose for coming to earth.

After an hour or so, He took a break from praying to go check on His friends, who had fallen asleep. He woke them and said, ‘ You need to wake up and pray so that you are not tested. I know you want to do what is right, but you are letting your flesh overcome you. Pray for strength against temptation.’  

Then He left them to go pray some more. “My Father, if I must do this and it is not possible for me to escape it, then I pray that what you want will be done.” When he came back from praying to check on His friends, he again found them sound asleep. They simply couldn’t keep their eyes open.

This time he let them sleep on, and went back a third time to pray, going over the same ground one last time. When he came back the next time, he said, “Are you going to sleep on and make a night of it? My time is up, the Son of Man is about to be handed over to the hands of sinners. Get up! Let’s get going! My betrayer is here.” In other words, He accepted His fate. He didn’t look forward to it; however, He knew it had a bigger purpose. He was only able to face it head on because He had given it much prayer.

He could not even count on those He trusted and loved to stand beside Him. He had to go it alone. Not only was He feeling hurt and anguished but also abandoned as if no one cared what He was going through. I say to my dear Cindy, Jesus went through trials and suffering so He could relate to your feelings. He knows that you are scared and feel alone. That you are tired and hurting. He’s been there. If you can get to the point to where you can say, “Not my will but yours be done”, God will see you through just as He did his son.

Jesus is praying for you to endure this trial

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Correspondence Between the Disciple Peter and Me: Modern Day Emails

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Snoop into my emails....You know you want to

1 Peter 1: 6-9

Oh, Dear Friend,

I must say you keep me on my toes. Here you go again with the modern day acronyms. I know you have told me before but please remind me once again what 'TTYL' means. You know I am gaining in years. however, I do remember the LOL acronym and feel you may actually be doing so now. Anyway, let's get back to my reasons for writing you this letter.  

Now some of what we are about to discuss may seem slightly contradictory. But bear with me and I will try to give you the examples you need to help you fully understand. The paradox of the Christian life lies in it’s peculiarity, according to MacLaren's Expositions, the physical body belongs to and is exposed to all the influences of this world and yet the spiritual man belongs to and is influenced by things unseen yet eternal. Such dramatic opposition yet this coexistence  is where the secret of the Christian life lies. Consider, if you would, two seas. They “do not meet and interfere with one another, but one stream of water on the surface is running in one direction, and another below in an opposite direction. Now the Christian is like that. On the surface there is a stream of heaviness rolling with dark waves, but down in the depths there is a strong undercurrent of great rejoicing that is always flowing there” (C. H. Spurgeon.)

Consider also Nick Vujicic Born without any limbs, you could say he has faced a few trials in his life. Yet he uses his life and all it’s adversities to spread the love of Jesus. He understands that by maintaining his “central gladness” or keeping his primary focus on his future inheritance that he can face trials, yes even with JOY, and see them as merely “superficial sorrows” while here on this earth. It is this focus that sustains him and allows him to rejoice. Those without this sustaining power (non-Christians) have “superficial gladness” and “central sorrow”. (MacLaren's Expositions and Barnes' Notes on the Bible)

I do realize that Nick’s example is extreme and that most of us don’t face the trials he faces on a daily basis. But we each have our own unique set of trials. We could have struggles in our marriages, in our relationships with our children, in overcoming our past failures, in our finances, in our careers, with our health or in some combination of all of these. Whatever your current struggle is, and as difficult as it may be to endure, God has allowed it in order to build, change or adjust your character….something good WILL result from this trial.

The good from this trial will show you and the world that God knew what He was doing by allowing you to go through it. Once you come through this trial, your faith will be proven genuine.

Just as gold is put through fire to remove all the impurities, so will your faith. Gold will eventually perish but not your faith. When Jesus appears again it is your faith  that will  give praise, glory and honor to God because it allowed you to endure your trials . “The very gift of faith is a hint to you that you will want it, and that, at all points and in every place, you will really need it”(Spurgeon).

“Trial is the very element of faith. Faith without trial is like a diamond uncut, the brilliance of which has never been seen. Untried faith is such little faith that some have thought it no faith at all. What a fish would be without water or a bird without air, that would be faith without trial. The trial of your faith is sent to prove its sincerity, It must also be tested to prove its strength” (Spurgeon). Physically you may be grieving and suffering yet spiritually you are still able to rejoice because you know there are better things to come. If your current sufferings have somehow lessened your joy, know that it will not entirely obstruct it nor will the joy entirely deny the suffering. (Matthew Poole's Commentary)

My friend, you have never seen Jesus, and you don’t see him now yet still you love him and have faith in him. Just like wind, oxygen or gravity, you cannot see them yet you believe and trust that they will work in your life daily. This faith you have will sustain you.

Again I must close as the hours breeze by while I am writing you. I will talk to you later….ah ha….it just dawned on me what TTYL means as I have just written it. These young people creating all these acronyms are so clever. Anyway, have a blessed day and may God’s love and peace cover you today.

Dear Peter

You are not ‘gaining in age’....well maybe slightly. But who cares? Age is only a number. After all, look at you, using email now. You Go Cyber-Disciple! It is simply a matter of staying involved and that is what are you are doing. So keep at it young man....You got this...lol

No words can tell how glad and happy I am to be saved. That’s why I have faith. So often the struggles of this life are so heavy and dark I do not think I will make it through and you are right; it is the strong undercurrent that steadily flows with the reminders of what is yet to come that allows me to hang on to my joy during those trials. I have seen Nick on talk shows and heard several of his speeches. He is truly an inspiration and he exemplifies God's love so well.

I remember the days when I had “superficial gladness” and “central sorrow”. Just as I remember when it changed to “superficial sorrow” and “central gladness”.  Knowing that God is simply trying to build my character and make me the person He has created me to be doesn't necessarily make it easier. But the faith that something good will result from it and that my faith will be proven genuine, does help, a little.   To be honest, I wish He would get rid of the impurities with one giant fire instead of many fires that pop up unexpectedly. Then again, these little fires are tough enough, so um, I guess I take that back. No giant fire for me please.  

I must admit I think both the cut and uncut diamond are both very beautiful. But with a little scrubbing, chipping and polishing the cut diamond is brilliant and can reflect light in so many more directions than the uncut diamond. I can see how working my faith, placing me in some unwanted situations, and shaping me to resemble His likeness could cause me to reflect the light of the SON more into other people's lives.

You are right Peter, just as I do not feel the need to argue the proof of wind, oxygen or gravity neither do I need to argue the proof of God’s existence. I don’t have to see Him to know He is real. I have felt his presence just as I have felt the wind. Without him working in my life daily and the faith I have in my salvation, all of these trials would be futile.

I must admit, it is so refreshing to receive your emails. Most of what comes to my inbox is simply junk mail that tries to absorb my time and energy. Your emails allow me to stop and reflect on my purpose for being here. Thank you for taking the time to mentor me and remind me of the things that are truly important in this world. I hope one day I can be the same type of mentor for others. Until next time

. 

http://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/peoples-new-testament/1-peter/1.html

http://biblehub.com/sermons/1_peter/1-3.htm

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Peter%201&version=CEV;GW;MSG;CEB;NIV